when tears settle in the crevices of our hearts

                                            and gravel like truths churn in our mouths

                                                                  tired feet lie quietly in dusty slippers

                                             and worn out pillows cradle vanquished heads

                                        sluggish,bent bodies crumble

                                  under burdens of everyday life

                              and a friend walks in

                             joy spills over

                               an exuberant teapot

                           with golden steaming tea

                           a bright magenta flower

                       in  a  dry acrid landscape

                    some words, some silences

                     some tears ,some laughter

                    a  door ajar and the day's shadows

                 disintegrate with the streaming light

                     of the new born sun

                                                       Rain sparkling drops

                                                           on sun drenched earth

                                                          the fragrance trapped in

                                                          tired clenched breath

                                                            memory wafts in

                                                         an umbrella with rainbow hues

                                                               eyes misty with pearl lined dreams

                                                               hands clasped  tightly

                                                                   moist palms and rain drenched lips

                                                                   clinging to me today

                                                      the memory of  my first love

                                                              monsoon memories

                                                       to disappear with the

                                       passing away  of the rain heavy clouds

                                                              A land burns

                                               divided over relegions

                                         a cross and a swastika

                                             symbols of faith

                                      or of      bloody wars

                                             the charred remains

                                            of  people who believed

                                              and dreamt of creating equality

                                               of children who raise their hands

                                                 in prayer and  hope

                                                   with fear now nestling

                                                 in their innocent eyes

                                                As  lands burn

                                                    so do Gods

                                              and one day

                                              ashes are all

                                         that we will be left with

                                     of broken faiths

                                   and  festering dreams

                                and glowing embers

                                  of   twisted anger.....

IT IS 1145 AT NIGHT AND MY HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER HAVE GONE OFF TO SLEEP.This is how my day ends usually.I am on leave from work to complete my research.I spent the day reading ,striving  to write,looking after my father and my daughter and generally running the house.I do talk to a few friends in the day over the phone.My interaction with my spouse is a few pleasentaries and some debates about how my daughter should be brought up(you know inane things like she does not eat right,has she brushed her teeth  tonight?).When I used to be working I would be dead tired and go off to sleep since I started my day early.I really looked forward to this study leave and now I feel so depressed because of it.I realise my spouse and  I have very little to say to each other.Our respective responsibilities takes up our time.There is no magic in our lives .We are only existing , not living.Many of my dreams have died within me.Some things which seemed so possible till last year now seem not worth striving for.I started a small campaign for girl child rights,published a book..but today I feel lost.My Father my foremost mentor is ill,my sister is in a bad marriage,my maternal uncle who I am very close to is almost in a coma and in hospital.My grand parents are suffering.In all this my spouse is not at all empathetic and believes I should take everything in my stride and get on with life.He is a good human being and quite supportive .Yet something is missing in our lives.I blame myself for it.Maybe I am too sensitive or expect too much out of relationships.Sometimes I feel like killing myself......but then I think of my daughter and my father and believe that I have to live for them.My father is due for a small surgery soon .Please pray that he should recover quickly from this.I feel very anxious this time.Last year when he went in for his major surgery friends at the this blog prayed for him amd he recovered.This is a followup surgery , a minor one actually.But I feel very nervous.There is no one i can talk about this to so I am writing about it.My position in my house is such that I have to give support to others and there is no one to support me, my emotions,anyway I guess this is what life is all about.Sorry friends for boring you with my sob story. Do pray for my father...and for me

WHEN I STARTED THIS BLOG I DID IT TO CREATE A SPACE FOR MYSELF TO SPEAK OUT MY FEARS AND TRIBULATION.IN THE PROCESS I DISCOVERED FRIENDS WHO SUPPORTED ME THROUGHOUT MY FATHER'S ILLNESS AND FRIENDS FROM WHOM I LEARNT HOW TO COPE.IN THE MANY BLOGS I HAVE VISITED THERE IS SO MUCH TO KNOW AND LEARN.WHAT BEATS ME IS HOW ACTORS LIKE AMITABH BACHAN AND AAMIR KHAN HAVE BEEN SO MEAN AND CUTTING IN THEIR BLOGS.IT SHOWS A CHILDISHNESS AND MEANNESS THAT IS DIFFICULT TO COMPREHEND.HOW INSECURE CAN YOU GET? AMIR LIKENS SHAHRUKH TO A DOG AND AMITABH SAYS HIS TRPS FOR HIS QUIZ SHOW WAS WAY ABOVE SHAHRUKH'S.WELL WELL I AM SO GLAD THAT MY FRIENDS AT REDIFF ARE MATURE ADULTS.KEEP BLOGGING

While we feel proud of being in the World's largest democracy we remain ignorant about the massive undemocratic and autocratic practices in India.Dr Binayak Sen is  leading health and social activist who with his spouse Ilina Sen runs rupantar , a civil society initiative for people in Chattisgarh .Dr Sen as a member of the PUCL( PEOPLE'S UNION FOR CIVIL LIBERTIES) has been fighting relentlessly against the atrocities committed by the government of chattisgarh against innocent civilians in the name of salwa judum whiich is a programme to kill the so called naxalites.Dr Sen has been arrested since may 2007 and is in jail at the moment under suspicion of being a naxalite or a naxalite supporter.Sen has been a proffessor at JNU and has been the recipient of a number of national and international awards.The central Government is complicit in this crime with its silence on the issue.And we call ourselves a democracy .Please learn about Dr sen and protest about  his imprisonment. PLEASE ASK FOR DR SEN'S RELEASE

reading jhumpa lahiri's latest book unaccumstomed earth .The short stories are written with an effortless charm which is her forte.This is  her third book after her debut book of short stories called the interpreter of maladies and her novel the namesake .This pulitzer prize winner's writings about the immigrant Indian in America seems to have  a semiautobiographical tilt.This book has eight short stories divided into two parts.The last three short stories form a novella .The stories all about bengali immigrants  have an old world charm like the writings of tagore or satyajit ray {written again from a child's perspective}.The innocence and the painful angst in the writing give an ironic twist to the stories.The majority of the stories deal with the death  or loss of loved ones especially parents.The author in an interview did mention that she wrote the stories when her in-laws passed away  and that she is insecure about her own parents.(very similar to rowling when she wrote the harry potters -all dealing with death and loss of loved ones).My personal favourite was the novella called hema and kaushik about a young boy and a girl whose lives are inextricably linked  by fate to bring them together time and again to finally  end painfully.ANYONE WHO HAS LIVED LIFE LOVED AND LOST SHOULD READ THE BOOK. Anyone who has read the book may post comments

Last year we visited Kerala and were mesmerised by its natural beauty.From Cochin to Munnar to Kumarokom the journey was filled with a million sunset glories and sunrise warmths.We stayed at the taj and the service was impeccable.We trekked on the mountains,cruised in the backwaters,and soaked in the sun.The food especially the fish was a gastronomic delight and the people were beautiful.....except for one downside .The backwaters near the taj  kumarkom was an ecological disaster .Plastic bottles ,oil spills from the speedboats,other wate from the hotels marred the beauty and pose threats to the delicate marine life and the many birds whose habitat exists there.We complained to the hotel staff and also wrote to the health and environment ministry in Kerala.The hotel management wrote back to say they will be taking care.Have any of visited Kerala recently? Do you have a similar story to share?